Eurozone Money Flop

The Euro has been falling out of bed. Nine months ago it took US $1.45 cent to buy one Euro, now it only takes $1.2270.

So if you had wanted a couple of fancy German cars for $145,000, you can now pay $122,700 and save $22,300, enough to buy a small run-about for the missus.

10,000 shares of Barclays bank, that is quite famous for stealing money off people, cost £25,000 a few months ago, you can have the same shares for £16,500 a saving of £8,500, more than enough to buy a second-hand car for your teenager.

I used to have an account at Barclays. They moved my account without my permission to another country, I put the cash card in an ATM machine, it got so confused as to where my account was it ate my card.

Imagine you open an account in France with Credit Agricole in Paris say, and you go in and they tell ya your account is now in Angola.

“Angola?” you ask “where the F…ks that, and where’s m’ money?.

They say just pop into your branch next time you’re in Angola and they will sort it all out.

“But Angola is 10,000 miles away”, you protest.

“Yes we know” they say, “but we have towed Angola in a bit it’s now only 9980 miles away”. If you find Angola you can have a car loan for 3%.”

You say, “I’ve just saved $22,000 on two German cars what do I need an effin’ car loan for?

Barclays recently got caught stealing a few billion on interbank lending rates, they were fined £290 million, the boss Mr. Bob Diamond quit. They gave him a £18 million bonus on leaving, as he’s nicked more money for the bank than any other boss of Barclays ever has. Talk about Bob-a-job.

I never did find my Barclays account and 25 years have now passed, they must have kept my money to improve their results in the hopes their rotten shares go up a bit!

It’s all lies. Where’s effin’ Angola? I need to know. My money’s there getting a suntan. Stuart Wilde

© 2012 — Stuart Wilde.
www.stuartwilde.com — All rights reserved.