Paranoia Airways

Airplane:

Flying on planes is very painful. In the space of four hours or so, the cabin becomes infested with tubes and black vines. The vines come from the crown chakras of the travelers. Gradually the cabin fills up as pictured here and the tubes/vines latch on the top of each passengers’ head.

Irritation, frustration, boredom, sexual perversions that are fired at the attendant mostly, and paranoia, lots of it, are all transferred as a web of darkness. Everyone is infested.

As the plane gets ready to take off, the vines come very quickly as people’s fear of dying kicks in. Then it slows down when the drink are served, and then later on when the punters get more tired, the vines get worse and worse, until all the space in the aircraft is thick with them.

Then the ghouls take over and they start firing pain at one. The last few hours of a long flight are agony for me.

Use lavender on your crown chakra and cover your head all through the flight that helps a bit, and try not to look eye-to-eye with the other passengers. In the toilet on most planes, there is an anti-fart air vent that blasts out cold air very quickly, wet your crown and stick it under the vent if you can reach it standing on the toilet with one leg up.

I’ve also tried putting tin foil inside a woolen beanie, that works as protection as well. You have to trim it properly or you look really silly.

Stuart Wilde Traveling