The Karma of Silly Hats

Here’s the history of the world in silly hats, for a bit of fun. Most of our history is behind us but some of it is in front of us, as it has already happened in a backwards-in-time dimension. So for example, the Federal Reserve exists today as the nasty Fat Controller of everything in the financial world, but in a future world it was destroyed. See?

The History of the World in Silly Hats

A small Russian tribe with silly hats wanted to control the world ‘cos they felt they had the best hats. But…

Some Germans in the grass

with tin hats didn’t like the Russians’ idea so they resisted, and anyways they wanted to control the world as they felt grass was the way of the future.

They were backed by fashion conscious Italians with other very silly hats…

some of their hats had innovative floppy bits and even feathers.

The Italians were not famous for fighting so they decided to control the world by controlling people’s path to god by adopting silly gold and red hats.

The Italians turned out to be a bit disappointing as they were more into buggery and pedophilia instead of hats, so people became suspicious. Their fashions came from a company called Prada, prado means field in Italian so they might have been linked to the Germans in the grass (not sure).

There were some very rich British men that were like spiritual pygmies, so they had tall hats to make themselves seem bigger and to help them feel more secure.

They were called bankers, they borrowed money from the Russians in silly hats and lent it to factories who employed workers who were too poor for hats so they had knotted handkerchiefs on their heads.

The tall hat pigmies were linked to the royals, who had hats with jewels, if your hat has jewels it is known as a crown.

Make a note of that there may be questions later.

When people realized they had been royally screwed by the silly hat brigade; they became a bit rebellious, so a group of blokes in black hats showed up.

Their hats had little windows and windscreen wipers so they could see in the rain. They fought with the hippies who smoked German grass and wore dreadlocks,

everybody liked the hippies, not many liked the windscreen men as they bashed innocent people with sticks (like those pictured here).

Then something weird happened. These ayatolahs showed up wearing black hats called turbans.

…they stole all the oil so everyone had to walk to work.

The people went to see the President, he didn’t have a hat which was quite a relief, but he had some suspicious scars on his head,

which he got when the powers-that-be went looking for his brain one day.

The President didn’t give a rat’s ass who was walking or not, as he was busy watching the Simpsons on TV.

The crowd shuffled off to Walmart.

Where they asked the nice man “Do you sell guns?

He said “Yes we do, Wal Mart is famous for its hunting kit, would you like a silly hat that looks like a duck?

The Americans at Walmart said “Bollocks to the hat with the duck we’ve had our fill of hats, do you sell guns?”

The salesman said “Yes we do, how many would you like?”

“400 million!” they replied.

Cash or credit? he asked.

The hippies didn’t buy the guns as they don’t like loud noises when they are stoned. They were happy for the rednecks to handle that side of things.

Then the rednecks opened fire on the men with the little window hats, who promptly loaded their wives and kids in the family car, and headed to the neighboring state. Here’s a map of America

in case you don’t know your neighboring state and you are looking for the riot police.

So the karma of the world all came down to silly hats. Avoid silly hats it’s the road to perdition.
In the end, the hippies inherited the earth.

God was very happy about that and she vowed next time to give the earth to the hippies in the first place. Letting the riff-raff and Mad Hatters have it, caused misery and trouble. Stuart Wilde