Gold Fever

For many years there was a secret agreement to hold down the price of gold and governments dumped their gold on the market to make sure the price stayed low. Australia sold all its gold reserves at $330 an ounce and Gordon Brown, the British finance minister, did a very clever thing in selling Britain’s entire gold reserves at about $280 an ounce costing the beleaguered British taxpayers billions in the process. Meanwhile Rothschild’s fixed the price of gold in London twice a day and so it was only ever worth whatever the Fat Controllers said it was worth.

Essentially gold was always tied to the value of the dollar so when the dollar went up gold slid a bit and when the dollar went down, gold rose slightly. But while the governments were dumping gold it was driven down to about $250 an ounce. A certain wide-eyed gold investor called Stuie Wilde, who had his entire lifesavings in gold at the time, lost his bikini bottoms in the process, to the tune of half a mill’ as I recall. Tut-bloddy-tut.

Then something weird happened, Rothschild’s announced they would no longer fix the price of gold each day and after that gold was freely traded like other commodities. Gold is still fixed in London by a committee of bankers but as it trades 24/7 on the global markets I am not sure what the point of the daily fix is. Gold began to rise steadily once governments had no more to dump, and eventually gold uncoupled from the dollar’s price and it started to head for the Promised Land, which today stands at $717 for June delivery.

The cartel lost its power over the price of the glittery stuff, though sadly Stuie W’ never got his shorts back, which was a pity. He’d hoped to parlay the funds into a small French castle and open a Camelot for people to have fun in, fully equipped with a bouncy castle on the lawn for the kiddies that would whisk the little ones into the Mirror-World and back at every alternative bounce. Never mind eh?

Gold costs about $175-200 to mine so owing a gold mine is a good way forward for lads and lasses hoping to make headway in life. If we grant the miners a hundred bucks profit gold is really worth about $300 an ounce all the rest is speculation and fear. How much fear is still unaccounted for? No one knows. My guess is that the fear factor has hardly got going. The problem is that people are losing faith in their governments and they are becoming suspicious of dollars that are created in secret by the Federal Reserve at the flick of a button. What to do, oy vey?

People like the Swiss franc because God proclaimed many eons ago that after the world ended cockroaches and Swiss banks would be allowed to survive. To that end, Stuie Wilde shuffled off to Montreux, the former home of Freddie Mercury, where he promptly deposited his remaining funds ($12.33) in the safe hands of God’s bankers. Swiss franc are so popular they don’t pay interest so it costs you money to hold Swiss francs but if you only have $12.33 it’s not a lot of money, about 24 cents a year in lost interest at today’s rates. I’ve never been interested in interest as there is never enough of it to be bothered with at any bank, in any currency.

Some people think property is the way to go but it’s about to take a terrible tumble, which will cause a lot of gnashing of teeth and dust in the air. If you bought years ago you are laughing but those entering the market now are playing Russian roulette. The problem with property is you can’t move it and so once you own it, it owns you. I have owned a few buildings in my life but my tactic of ‘buy high, sell low’ was not a recipe for success and so I lost money on everything I ever bought. The other problem with houses is that when the wife throws a serious wobbler and she hires a lawyer, she always winds up with the house. So the idea that people make money out of houses is not technically accurate, I know loads of people that have made a 100% loss.

I reckon gold will continue to rise mainly because the world is run by a collective of demented nutters; psychopaths in search of God’s approval. And as long as gold goes up faster than the dollar goes down people invested in gold will do very well. Some people think the world is going to end but I’m not sure of that. I think “our” world will end but “the” world will no doubt carry on effortlessly, as before. I noticed the cockroaches are storing champagne, I don’t know if that means anything or not.